Misery once exuded from me, now all feelings elude me. Christmas dinner is a frozen microwaveable meal for one, eaten on a stable table inherited from my recently deceased mum.
I've been waiting all year for this to be over, I sold my mum's house, and her old landrover. I called up the charity stores and let them come in, traipse through the house, remove all her things. Now the only place my mother resides is deeply in my head, so I've taken steps, I'll soon make sure I'm dead.
What a fitting send off than the flick of Christmas lights, shepherding me like a rainbow into this long night.