"Dad, what did you choose to do with your life?"
"Well son, I married my wife, I had you little shites, and I came to the conclusion that lemon squash is better than Sprite. I could tell you son about how hard I worked one night, stayed back till late and got something over the line, how I swelled with pride, how I'd felt more accomplished then than I'd ever felt in my life. How I came to realize that regarding that achievement no one gave a flying kite, that the only way to be recognized is to write a book about your Everest fight and how you had to chew your own frozen fingers off on account of your frostbite. I don't know where I went wrong son, so its hard to tell you where to go right, I've always felt separate from the world as if I'm a satellite, doing my best to hang on and help out but I'm always out of everybody's sight. I'm sure I've helped someone somewhere but nothing really comes to mind, the only advice I can probably give to you is about your hairline. Flaunt it boy, whilst you've still got it, one day it'll be gone and you'll have lost it - everything about you that makes you attractive, make sure you marry before your follicles become inactive. Once your hair decides to stop growing on your head, it'll grow out your ears and out your nose instead. And no woman wants a hairy nosed koala, it won't matter how flirtatious your palaver, you've got one chance my little man, marry fast whilst you can."