I float around the house looking miserable all day, like that half-deflated "congratulations" balloon you couldn't bear to throw away. There are people dying in evil and horrifying ways, but I just can't seem to shift this cloud of misery that I have somehow made. I want to get angry, desperately to shout, to tell everybody to just get the fuck out. But all I can manage is retreat. Sitting alone in darkened rooms staring blankly at my feet.