Sunday, 31 July 2016
I caught them all when I put my dick inside of you. You said my claims were grounds enough to sue, but my pokéballs had never mustered up the custard to be busted inside anyone but you. Well, at least not as far as any of us knew. I mean, there was that time that I sleep-humped you... and my little sister always looked at me suspiciously as we grew. I always assumed that it was about my pokéstash that she knew. But maybe those dreams I had were actually true. I wonder if she will catch them all now too?
Wednesday, 27 July 2016
Hey, I'm sorry it's been quite a while since I last got in touch. It's just... well truth be told, the hurt and self-loathing I felt each time I waited for your replies all got a little much. But believe me when I say I think of you on my daily trudge to do the daily drudge. I often wonder if the timing of my exit from your life was misjudged. But then I remind myself I should have done it sooner because frankly you're a bit of a cunt.
I'll leave the memories of you above the radiator by the window to dry, I'll leave them so long that eventually they'll shrivel up and die. I won't go near them again even if my phone tells me one of the three legendary birds of Kanto is nearby. I'll take the sting out of my eyes so even the mirror is fooled by my brilliant disguise of a man who doesn't long to die.
She baby talked down the phone to me as I trod on the pedal of the dustbin. She was saying some soft words about how she thought she was starting to love me; I was peeling a carrot into the bin with the cordless phone crooked in-between my head and shoulder and I couldn't decide if it was the contents of the bin or her words that more disgusted me. It was nothing I hadn't heard before, so when she asked me if I felt the same I was at the ready with my most convincing "yeah, absolutely. For sure." But in truth, it all felt a bit much. We'd only been fucking for a month and I knew she'd soon grow bored of my touch. I was all too painfully aware of how her emotions, if not her perfectly dewy skin, would dry up and cause me a world of suffering. I've long since learnt a woman's lust is not something upon which you can continually rely on and trust. If you do, prepare to be crushed.
She said all her friends had told her we look great together. "Well apart from Sophie but forget her." I mumbled "that's alright then, as long as I make your Instagram pictures look better." I mumbled "couldn't you have just told me all this in a letter." I mumbled "this conversation feels like too much effort."
I close my eyes to dull the specks of rage, the same reason I work for barely above the minimum wage. I close my eyes to not have to read the next page of a story that always ends the same way. I drop my phone in the bin and close my mind off to all the bullshit she has to say.
Any Meaning In Life Is Like A Pokéstop You're Stood Right In Front Of But That Is Telling You You're Too Far Away
I suppose you wanted to get them all caught before anyone could shame you into feeling embarrassment and self-loathing at all the Pokécoins you'd bought. How quickly we forget all the things in school we were taught. How quickly the dreams we tell ourselves we sought disappear and turn to naught like Ray Velcoro wanting to be an astronaut. Life is fraught and life is short and sometimes life hits you like a fucking juggernaut. I just wish someone would explain to me for what it is all these little battles we endure are fought.
I woke to a strange flashing light. I thought tonight was finally the night! I'd never felt more ready, I said "beam me the fuck up Scotty and let's take flight!" My imagination had already run away with itself and was soaring like a kite. But when I readjusted my sight, I realised it was just my phone notification light and you telling me you'd passed out from drinking too much vodka and Sprite but not to worry because you were alright. I didn't know what to write. Well I did... "God if you ever let me hold you, I'd hold you so fucking tight" or something. But instead I just replied with some shite along the lines of "lol sounds like you had a good night". You replied "you're not wrong there" but I never wanted less to be right.
Tuesday, 26 July 2016
Monday, 11 July 2016
I suppose you wanted to get it done before anyone could say it took you more than a year, I knew it when I saw your eyes staring defiantly back at me without fear. That day my heart felt like it was a cold and lonely pier, jutting into a cold grey ocean made up wholly of my own tears. I couldn't waste another second, I couldn't stay without you here. I took myself to the point of dying but it didn't make you feel anymore near. So now I am in limbo drowning slowly in this misery soaked atmosphere.