Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Jeb's Journey

She told me about her desire to buy more toilet paper. Up until that point I'd never considered it. The idea that women had functioning digestive parts was a completely earth shattering revelation to me. Somehow I'd just figured that food went in and only nice stuff came out. Suddenly my head was swimming with various ideas and images that became less and less unpleasant to me, instead crossing a hitherto uncrossed threshold from repulsive to intriguing. "How.... How many..." I coughed and looked at my feet. My laces were untied, I bunched my toes up to swell the tongue out the top of each shoe. "How many times do you go to the toilet per day?" I finally gasped. "Well," she said, without missing a beat or being put off by my nervousness, "I couldn't stop pissing last night. Couldn't get a good stretch of sleep at all. I think I drink too much herbal tea."

I gulped and relaxed my toes.

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