Tuesday, 8 May 2018

With Saucers Chasing You

I can only hold on so long whilst you steadily pull yourself away. Being myself and loving you is no longer enough to make you want to stay. I'd tear myself apart for you, I'd rip my life to shreds, and yet nothing I ever do will be good enough to make you turn your head.

Remember what it used to mean? Remember when you used to wake up keen? Remember when it felt like the rest of our lives were nothing but the moments in between? Now all I think about is the meaning in what you said. Now all I do is lay longer in a lonely bed. Now each time my phone goes ding I swipe the lock screen with a sense of dread.

I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to be the umbrella that you leave lingering by the door. Never looking at me as you pass by on you way, only taking me out when your skies are turning grey.

Friday, 4 May 2018


This is the sad part, where the music kicks in. Where we reach the crescendo and the tears all begin. This is the sad part, where somebody dies. Where actors hug each other with their watery eyes. This is the best bit, we've cried ourselves numb, to any more pain we are deaf blind and dumb. The worries and cares, the piled up struggles, they all carve away into piles of rubble. And we're left momentarily dead to it all. Nothing left to hold onto, painless we soar.

Saturday, 28 April 2018


Life is rough. Life is unquestionably tough. Life is what you missed out on whilst you were busy doing the laundry and cleaning stuff. Here are some melancholy musings to help you through the pain, to help you shake the unspoken misery from out of your heart and let it be processed by your brain.

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

Let Down Your Hair

How can I love you when you are so broken? 
How can I want someone strong willed and outspoken? 
How can someone too much - so intense,
Be the one who makes me lose all sense?

All these walls of logic and reason that you've built, 
All this past for which you feel regret and guilt, 
All this hurt, this accumulated pain, 
The slow sucks of feeling as if your life is circling the drain.

I see it all and I understand. 
I understand that you are stronger than any man. 
I understand that life never goes according to our best laid plans, 
And that you've done your very best with life's dealt hand. 

I can see, for I am tall, 
The heart you hide behind those walls, 
You think it delicate because it's so small, 
You think it fragile for it's always sore. 
But tenderness itself is not a flaw. 
Tenderness is what makes you more.

Without a heart that feels and hurts, we aren't whole, we aren't human.
Without walls we haven't learnt, we haven't grown, we're ripe to be ruined.
And so I'm not here to bring you down like some Joshua with his horn.
I'll wait for you to open up and just be grateful you were ever born.

Friday, 20 April 2018


My emotions feel like liquid as they slowly sludge around, I'm like a water balloon sloshing and every drop seems to drag me down. I just want some happiness to wash into me, but the only one that makes me happy will never become 'we'.

So I sit and wonder at what I could possibly do to go on, nothing comes to mind, so I'll slosh about until I'm gone.

*(I note here, with some ironic hue, that I've described myself tick-like attached to a tap made of you, reliant on the smallest drops you feed me for my happiness to come true, but where's the lie though, trapped as we are in this folie à deux?)


Has my heart ever gotten what it truly wanted?
My heart's a cemetery full of lovers' ghosts that haunt it
Their perfect smiles and their memories still taunt it
Twisting through my happiness, leaving it contorted

When everything is coloured through the pallid specter of a ghost
How could you truly ever see what in life you love the most?
How could you enjoy the simple things that life supposedly boasts
When you are living life a lonely cataracted host?

You told me that you loved me and it was hard for me to do the same
To give a feeling so pure such a silly, overused, unoriginal name
I thought that real romantic love meant the same thing to everybody
But love is just a game you played between bouts of melancholy

So I'll see you in my heart sometimes, for I know you'll haunt it too
Making me regret my life through another translucent view
If I had my time again, I'd be there banging on your door
My heart is like a cemetery, but one that you've scraped raw.