Thursday, 16 November 2017

I Fell In Love With Your Instagram Bot

I wrote my deepest thoughts and posted it up
You wrote "heyyy nice" with red hearts in triplicate
I wrote thankyou so very much
and you returned a quick thumbs up

I thought my life was really changing, everything suddenly felt amazing, where previously I'd spent most of my life lazing, now I was positively blazing, due to your unprecedented praisings.

I began to feel new things inside - a small lump of undeniable pride, a crush that swelled up like a rising tide, and a joy that my face failed to hide. And then, thereupon I spied, a comment on a friend of mine:

"heyyy nice ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️"❤️❤️ "

A comment exactly the same, written under your same name, and - oh! - there on another friend again! What on earth is your game? You follow and you unfollow me, I thought you actually liked what you see, but it turns out you're on a follow spree. Did you ever even bother to read, that post that meant so much to me?

Seven thousand five hundred follows on the clock, when will you ever stop? Will you ever turn it off, this mass liking, generic commenting automated bot?

Wednesday, 15 November 2017


I was crushed. Watching you from the kitchen in disgust. Your tyres spun and kicked up a swirl of dust. It lingered in the air like the silence after you first cussed. A last 'up yours' to my broken trust. I grabbed the kettle, hand shaking, noticing the rust. "Stainless steel" I scoff, nonplussed. I remembered my words when our lips first brushed: "take my heart if you must, but always treat me just, don't make me feel rushed, please understand that I am slow to trust." And away you charge, flippantly as I combust.

Holy Mattress Moany

I wonder if despite our constant fights, whether our two bodies find each other in the night. Unconsciously curling and holding each other tight. Making our dreaming minds feel as if everything will be alright.

But then I wake and there we are, at our edges of the mattress, our backs facing each other I reach backwards into blackness. I stretch my hand above the coils and along the fabric, the centre of the bed is cold, the outcome predictably tragic, a no man's land between us that says our love has lost it's magic.


I give up, it looks like you win. I cut the branches back, let's begin again. Let's burst forth from our grafted stump, let us bloom from this wasted lump. This time, let's do it all the way we planned: careers, kids, house, a car that cost fifty grand. We'll spend up big and our love will grow, we'll hone it into the perfect topiary hedgerow. Our bark will heal where sap once seeped as I hit us with a cleaver, the cuts were steep for our rot was deep, but our love was surely deeper.

The Eternal Battle Still Rages in 2017

I love her so much I want to strangle her to death. Watch as her eyes go pale as they beg for another breath. Why should anyone else have the chance to end her flesh? Bad drivers, serial killers, or cancer would only make a mess. Only someone who loves her could have the right finesse, everybody knows that fingers play their best when they have someone they dearly wish they could impress.

Sunday, 12 November 2017

Guilted Lily

All she wanted was a hand to hold, but my hand was busy, tapping on my phone. Now she's all grown up and I am all alone, my fingers are too arthritic to even message her to come back home.

Tuesday, 7 November 2017


I'm aware of how annoying I can be, there's no need to tell me. There's no need to avoid me. There's no need to go out of your way to destroy me. I'm already under so much pressure on my own, living by myself, hating myself, all alone. I already know what it feels to be distressed without you going out of your way to make my life a mess. I already know well this feeling of desperation, of drowning devastated when I get stuck in quiet contemplation, I know I'm too awkward to hold up my end of a conversation, I don't need you to laugh at and point out my consternation. I just want to die when I'm with you, I feel like you're keeping me inside a zoo, like I'm a freakshow made just to service you.